The idea of a “perfect marriage” has long captivated society, but recent high-profile divorces challenge this notion. From AR Rahman and Saira Banu’s shocking separation after 29 years to Aamir Khan and Kiran Rao’s amicable split after 13 years, these incidents raise deeper questions about the complexities of modern relationships.
Is infidelity the sole reason for failed marriages? Or do deeper, less visible issues like communication gaps, emotional fatigue, and unmet expectations play a bigger role? Let’s delve into the evolving perspectives on divorce and relationships.
AR Rahman and Saira Banu: A Separation That Surprised Everyone
The recent news of celebrated music composer AR Rahman and his wife Saira Banu parting ways after nearly three decades of marriage shocked their fans and the film industry. With their children grown and years of companionship behind them, their decision to divorce has left many wondering—what went wrong?
The public often assumes that a long marriage is unbreakable, but even such enduring relationships can face cracks due to emotional disconnect or a loss of shared goals.
Aamir Khan and Kiran Rao: Redefining Relationships Post-Divorce
Actor Aamir Khan and producer Kiran Rao announced their divorce in 2021, marking the end of their 13-year marriage. Their split wasn’t marked by bitterness; instead, they redefined their bond as co-parents and creative partners.
Aamir and Kiran’s decision was a conscious effort to maintain mutual respect while acknowledging that their relationship had evolved beyond traditional definitions of marriage. This separation highlighted a growing trend—divorce as a way to reshape relationships rather than end them entirely.
A Growing List of High-Profile Divorces
Celebrity divorces have become increasingly common, reflecting the challenges faced by even the most admired couples. Recent rumors about discord in Aishwarya Rai and Abhishek Bachchan’s marriage, as well as past separations like those of cricketer Hardik Pandya and Natasha Stankovic, show that no relationship is immune to difficulties.
In Hollywood, Natalie Portman and Benjamin Millepied’s divorce after 11 years of marriage was attributed to infidelity, but experts suggest that cheating is just one of many possible reasons for separation.
Beyond Infidelity: Why Marriages End
While infidelity often takes the blame for divorces, experts argue that other factors like emotional fatigue, lack of communication, and unmet expectations are equally significant.
According to divorce lawyer Vedika Choubey, the concept of compatibility has gained importance in modern marriages. She shares examples where minor disagreements snowballed into divorce cases:
- A bride left her husband just a month after marriage because she didn’t feel comfortable in her in-laws’ house.
- A woman sought divorce over her husband’s financial debt, which she discovered post-marriage.
In some cases, unresolved communication gaps have led to years of court battles before reconciliation. This emphasizes that divorce isn’t always about betrayal but can stem from everyday struggles.
The Silver Splinter Phenomenon: Divorce After Decades of Marriage
Divorces among couples married for decades, often termed “silver splinters,” are increasingly observed. Lawyer Mrinalini Deshmukh explains that emotional fatigue often sets in during long marriages, even when trust and respect exist.
For instance:
- A 36-year-old man sought divorce for his mother after witnessing his father’s years of emotional neglect toward her.
- An elderly woman filed for divorce after 50 years of marriage, stating she had endured decades of unhappiness but now wanted to live on her own terms.
Such cases reveal that individuals, regardless of age, are prioritizing personal happiness and emotional well-being over societal expectations.
Marriage: A Secret Between Two People
Actor Chunky Pandey, married to Bhavana Pandey for over 27 years, offers a practical perspective on marriage. He believes that a perfect marriage doesn’t exist—it’s a private pact between two people.
According to him, the first year of his marriage was challenging as they worked on laying the foundation of their relationship. He emphasizes the importance of resolving conflicts immediately and avoiding ego battles.
Chunky also points out that while divorce rates are rising globally, India still considers marriage sacred. However, with increasing awareness and personal choices, Indian couples are also beginning to prioritize their mental and emotional health over societal expectations.
Changing Definitions of Marriage and Divorce
Society’s view of divorce is gradually evolving. Celebrities like Hrithik Roshan and Sussanne Khan and Malaika Arora and Arbaaz Khan have shown that divorce doesn’t have to mean enmity. These couples have remained cordial and even collaborative post-separation, challenging the stigma surrounding divorce.
Similarly, Javed Akhtar, who has been married to Shabana Azmi for over 40 years, candidly called marriage an outdated institution. He highlights that mutual respect, personal space, and shared ambitions are essential for a fulfilling partnership.
Living Together Happily: A Matter of Mutual Happiness
In a society where marriage is often seen as a lifelong commitment, the decision to separate can be stigmatized. However, many couples now view divorce as a way to preserve mutual respect and happiness.
For instance, Aamir Khan and Kiran Rao redefined their relationship to prioritize co-parenting and friendship. Similarly, couples like Farhan Akhtar and Adhuna and Hrithik Roshan and Sussanne Khan have shown that divorce can lead to healthier dynamics.
As Javed Akhtar aptly puts it, “You can only live happily together if both of you are happy.” This underscores the importance of individuality and mutual respect in sustaining relationships.
